My attacker released his hands.

He stepped back and looked me in the eyes,

almost as if he was giving me approval. 

I realized that without him, I’d have forgotten who I was.

I too, was a color, simply lost in categorization. 

Now, because of him, I’m defined.

I left to confront you; the note tucked away in my pocket.

I could see it on your face.

You knew why I was there.

As you raised your hand to greet me, I noticed the black on the side of your palm.

Poems are where you’ll find my honesty.

I can write fairy tales, but it’s costly.

Can’t say sorry for my raw emotion.

It has its own waves, such a vast ocean.

Now there’s an old you, new me.

I command the room now, so here, have a seat.

Took nearly twenty-seven years for us to meet.

Thank God, I like her, and she likes me.

This nightmare woke me up into all the right things.

Time and time again, I catch you in the act.

I say next to nothing, and you know that’s a fact.

 Now that I’m writing, you’re scared and confused.

Hoping I stay quiet, but I’m sorry, you’re the muse.

To clarify, I don’t miss you and I don’t miss us.

I miss all the missed opportunities I had to tell you that I suck.

Quietly,

I sit and sew this quilt.

Wish I could stop,

both the sewing and this guilt.

Equal,

was no patch.

All, a different trauma than the last.

Then they came in,

and I’m just a slut.

Crazy. Crazed. Craze.

Sums up my manic days.

Missing mellow middles,

having cried, a little.

Why am I your prisoner, when you commit the crime?

Well darling, I am yours and you

are mine.

Core of coexistence, 

yet it still humbly provides.

I still see you, 

and the outline of your glasses. 

If only I could kiss you, 

but we’ve wanted that for over a decade. 

You’re my heart’s biggest regret. 

An empty, bottomless pit of ifs. 

Two years, since we last spoke.

How’re you? Upon these words, I choke.

Now I feel as though I have lost all motion.

Forever sinking in the depths of the ocean.

Witness, wanderer, warrior.

Secured

in the trials of time.