Momentarily, I am finding myself in a position of uncertainty. At twenty-four years old, I am facing the pressures of “having my life together.”

Gripping on to the steering wheel, one that became nothing but a slippery sweat covered nightmare; navigating the road ahead with nothing but a prayer.

It hit.

Just like those summer nights, I will optimize my sunshine as long as possible. Embracing the transition into darkness, until one day I appreciate the calming breeze that comes with it. I once wrote that my fire will continue to burn beneath the stars. It will. Fires are meant to last through dreadful nights, and so will I.

“Today, we are going to draw a picture of how you feel.”

She handed me a piece of paper. Another blank and pointless piece, as if she expected a different outcome than our session last week.

Alone, uncomfortably sitting in the colors of white. If white is even a color at all.

Was one of my best characteristics, my own downfall? Empathetic nature or a disguise for naivety?

They taunt me in the mirror.

Scars, cellulite, wrinkles, weight gain… all stare back at me as I lower my head in disappointment.

I was so eager to swim amongst the sharks, that I ceased to remember I could walk on land.

I’ve thought repeatedly about what my first blog post should be about. I think before I dive into topics, I should really have you get to know me.